NYC, Chapter 2

[GrammyGoose]

New York City, December, 1979
Saturday Morning

Mother laid on the bed and giggled so hard after the chicken choker left that the bed shook. While her hubby was taking a shower, Sister #1 came down to our room to see what we were up to. We recapped the evenings events, which made Mother laugh even harder and Sister #1 lose her false teeth! All of this jocularity apparently was not making the other guests in hotel too happy, because there was a knock on the door and the booming voice that sounded like it came from inside the room instead of the hallway, "House detective, open the door NOW!" Fortunately, Sister #1 was the person in charge of the bus trip, and said she had just come down to see what all the commotion was about, promising that the noise level would decrease significantly. The HD told her that if things did not quiet down, we would be escorted to the curb with our belongings. Great!

We finally got mother to sleep about 1 AM. As usual, she was up with (Lord help me) the chickens! Sister #2 and I were exhausted, but mother really thought we needed to get an early start to our day, so we dragged ourselves out of bed and schlepped over to Rockefeller Center to watch a bunch of darn fools ice skating while we ate our breakfast. We sat by the window, but my seat was next to the "bus station". The busboys and the waiters were feuding about splitting tips. In there zeal, they were slamming things down and unbeknownst to me, stray food particles were gathering in my hair and down my back. At one point, one of the waiters grabbed a water pitcher filled with ice and turned too quickly and poured ice water down the back of my neck. Mom and the girls could barely eat for giggling. Well, before long, more people were watching me than the show on the ice rink. When the manager realized what was going on, she came over and told us that our breakfast was on the house. She even offered to have my clothes dry cleaned. That was when I realized what everyone was chuckling about. I was a wreck! And all my loving family could do was laugh! With a family like this, who needs enemies?

I hurried back to the hotel, changed my clothes and picked as much debris out of my hair as I could and we headed out to go shopping. First stop, Saks Fifth Avenue...

Our first experience in a hoity toity store was one we will never forget. Up until this moment, the fanciest store any of us had been to was Sears and Roebuck. We stood looking like a bunch of tourists with our mouths gaping open, staring at the incredible Christmas decorations. We were overwhelmed by makeup and perfume counters. The shoes and the purses seemed like a never ending sea of possibilities and the smell of real leather almost made us giddy. We had seen elevator operators in the movies, but here there actually was one and he announced the floor number and the specialty items for each. Mother would have been happy riding the elevator all day. She liked that funny feeling she got in her stomach when the elevator stopped. Sister #1 and husband #2 had planned on meeting us at the Max Factor counter. They were late, or we were early, but anyway, we blinked and the next thing we know, here comes a security guard walking with a very tall, very handsome, very angry young man, who points to mother and says, "That's her!" The security guard grabs her by the arm and tells her she has to go with him and escorts her to the front of the store, with Sister #2 and I in tow. Mother is trying act all indignant and asks the guard what was wrong. The guard replied, "That young man says you accosted him." Mother said, "I did no such of a thing!" The young man says, "M'am, you most certainly did!" Mother replied, "No, I didn't, I only patted your bottom." The guard said, "Why on earth did you do that?" My mother explained, "Well, if he didn't want me to touch it, he shouldn't have stuck it in my face!"
The security guard looked at the man and said, "would YOU like to explain?" At which point, the red faced young man said, "I was leaned over the jewelry counter to get a better look at something and the next thing I know, this woman grabbed me!" My mother looked at the security guard and said, "I rest my case!"